i.

your wife is a lucky one

who pauses in a heated argument with a stranger to check a hand but it was somehow reassuring to verify the instinct that you would not harm me even as i watched your chest rise and fall rapidly not from chasing after me but from the adrenaline of our confrontation

madness – it was all madness

this life is madness and i let you in

i think you regret even at this hour that you turned

perhaps your dream has already become a wooded path at dusk that shall grow noisy with things that scared you as a boy

damn dna

or is that making it too easy 

you repeated so many times-  why did you have to be that way

you did not like my answers 

i am a bitch

i am a cunt

we almost crashed because of you yet it was me in the wrong but that is where we agree and if i could become invisible

WHAT THE HELL

it is never the words but the condescending tone that damns us all

you never expected me to stop, slam the brakes until the tire skid sideways

a girl alone

you never expected me to bark back

a girl alone

i am a dog, you see, sir, and if you look, the hand remains empty

a girl alone

you told me of my luck, that you are not the sort to attack

a girl alone

i bit my tongue

most of us have been attacked in our lifetime 

there is no luck only circumstance and the rest of the way home i wondered about that blown tire that kept me from riding my other bike and how we would have probably crashed or i would have hit a tree, a different outcome

maybe not

you are still on my mind and you become  blue then your white t-shirt  and your face is kind despite our yelling

how ashamed that i never became a flower but remained a thorn

your wife is a lucky one whispers between piano keys and fan blades and midnight air 

i am lucky [as you said] that you are not violent and i said yes and that i am aware that another man may have shot me had he a gun

a girl alone

and you flinched

why do people surprise that i understand consequence

why do we resort to violence

the answer is so easy

she is a lucky one

ii.

the wood tick cracked under the pressure of  thumb and forefinger while the black spider continued her journey up the bedroom wall

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2 Comments

  1. Striking and disturbing. I don’t know exactly what to make of this, and yet I recognize it. I was particularly struck, in the midst of darker matter, by this: “and your face is kind despite our yelling.”

    Reply
  2. Wow. Disturbing is right. Just wow.

    Reply

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