Warning, I do believe that biking to work in this heat (all week the heat index over 100) has cooked my brain, let alone my funny bone. Ergo, read the ‘poem’ below with caution as it is snarky and without tactful humour. Inspired, in part, by a recent New Yorker article about the online dating scene. Ghastly, just ghastly, but it allowed me to have a bit of fun.
would confess amidst lines of “A hand to hold” or a
“Lug to love”. Please! What of love (I use That word loosely)
according to the New Yorker, an online smorgasboard,
a virtual buffet of mystery meet, their date of expiration
constantly changin’. Love the skin you’re in, or is it browning
to leather; but, don’t you wear it well according to that
ten-years-gone picture; forty, really, or is it time to retire
that photograph?
What of fate when the date comes via eBay, you won,
(or did he) highest bullshitter. Human merchandising gone
vulgar, a shirtless muscled machismo profile pic (Photoshop, I know)
on top that chrome dressed hog, so innocent with that smirk
and quote, “I like dogs”. And, I do, but I am no fool and refuse
to fall for that line regarding “A lifetime of memories to behold”.
Be Bold! Tell me you just swiped the hive looking for honey; a B….,
a bee,(a queen, indeed) will be less likely to be a drone if you just
be honest when you say, “Just seeking friendship(and perhaps a lay)”.
************************
Carl D'Agostino
/ 2011/07/21Since you mention the New Yorker, would value your opinion. It’s like 50 cents and issue now and 1/4 old size but that aside it is still a cartoonist’s dream to get them to publish your work. Plus they pay more than just about anyone else but about 2 dozen cartoonist have that space locked up. Now to poetry. I think that just about everything they publish as poetry is junk. None of my retired English teacher friends can find anything of literary value or expression in this stuff and are astonished that these words have any audience at all let alone a crowd that swoons over this stuff. Please explain what I am missing here. I like John Donne, Tennyson, Longfellow, Whittier, Emily Dickinson, e e cummings, some Whitman,Dylan Thomas and some stuff of ancient Persia too. I guess we don’t fit today’s world , huh? Love that last line of yours and when I was “out there” 35 years ago that was me alright. But I really did wish for the first part as well. Similar interests(music, art , literature, getting high) and cruising the scene.
libraryscene
/ 2011/07/22I know you’ve mentioned your beef with the poetry at New Yorker before, Carl. I agree to some extent, but every couple of issues or so, I will read one that makes
me stretch my creativity to try and fashion a new way of writing. I agree with your assessment on the toons. I LOVE so many of them. Actually, I think of you and your
blog when I read some of them. I believe the poetry and cartoons that get published are more a standing “order” type of thing than the reveal of new talent, don’t you?
It is oft who you know in this business of writing… sad ~
Mama Zen
/ 2011/07/21It’s enough to make me glad I’m married!
libraryscene
/ 2011/07/22Ha! Yes, it gets uglier as one gets older….trust me ~
Cindy
/ 2011/07/22Absolutely love this.
It reminds me of a book I think you may enjoy:
http://theonlycin.wordpress.com/2010/05/24/round-heels/
libraryscene
/ 2011/07/22thanks so much for the link up, Cin…cannot wait to read your review ~
Rivenrod
/ 2011/07/22For many years I was alone in many places around the world. Useful because I didn’t have to be too careful about remembering who I was meant to be each time I met a friendly face.
RR
libraryscene
/ 2011/07/22Interesting comment, RR… but why do we feel compelled to be different peeps, that is what confuses me ~